Gotta Pimp

You guys make it sound like you have to cheat. And you love to blame your wandering ways to genetics. Well, sit down, buddy, because according to most research, women are closing the
gender gap when it comes to fooling around. Some polls even claim upwards of 60 percent of women cheat on a mate.Why would she do such a thing? Well, it’s not her genes…

You Stopped Paying Attention

Of course she wanted to be your sex kitten when you were still plying her with compliments, planning romantic dinners, and surprising her with smooth sex moves. But now that you think you don’t need to buy her dinner to get her in bed, she’s wondering if she can’t do a little better than you.

You Changed…Or Your Relationship Did

You got meaner. Or messier. Or suddenly decided that getting your lazy butt off the couch long enough to grab another beer from the fridge was suitable exercise for the day. While it’s good to feel comfortable in your relationship, it doesn’t give you permission to let yourself go. Unless you want to let her go.

You Cheated On Her

You got busted banging some other babe and now your gal wants to get even. Sadly, some chicks see your infidelity as a “get out of jail free” card that lets her indulge her own cheatin’ heart without the consequences. There’s a simple prevention method here: Don’t cheat. And if you do, you’d better be unwaveringly reassuring in your feelings of remorse and reform. And maybe buy her something expensive and sparkly.

The Grass is Greener

Just like she’ll cheat on her diet to taste that eclair, she might be tempted to treat herself to that tasty new guy in her office just because he’s there and looking delicious. Maybe she’s bored. Or maybe he’s really the man of her dreams. (Hey, we said we’d tell you why women cheat; we didn’t say you’d like all the reasons).

She’s Just Evil

Some babes are just always looking out for the better deal. She could get off on the illicit thrill of flirting with the forbidden; she could just like toying with nice boys like you. Either way, your solutions are clear. Dump the dame or resign yourself to frequent screenings for STDs.

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You may think you know all the ins and outs of your best girl, but no matter how much your sweetie shares with you, there are still a few secrets she’s hiding. Allow us to reveal…

We let you fix stuff.
Frankly, I don’t know a single woman who can’t fix a clogged toilet or tell the difference between a flat and Phillips head screwdriver. But if it makes you happy to play Mr. Fixit, who are we to stop you? Besides, it can be fun rewarding our big, strong man for a job well done.

We get hit on more than you realize.
Your paranoid fears are valid. When we go out without you - or even when you’re just in the bathroom - we regularly get approached by some lecherous Lethario wanting to buy us drinks. We’d never dream of taking them up on their offers, so we don’t see reason to set free your possessive streak by telling you.

We’ve already decided if you’re marriage-material or not.
While women aren’t actively shopping for a Stepford husband, most of us do want to get married someday. And anyone who’s been dating for more than a few years has learned to determine a man’s potential as husband and father early in the game.

Chances are, if we’re still together, you’re looking pretty good, but, naturally we can’t tell you that for fear you’ll careen out of our lives with nary an “I’m-not-ready-for-a-serious-relationship.” Or maybe we just want a fling, but don’t want you to think we’re cheap. Or we’re just riding it out until we’re sure you’re not The One and don’t want you to know you’re being scrutinized.

We don’t have all the relationship answers.
Yes, we watch Oprah, spend hours psycho-analyzing you with our girlfriends, and love to throw out that therapy lingo in our discussions with you. We like you to think we know exactly what you’re doing wrong in our romance (and it is usually your fault, isn’t it?), but here’s a thought. If we knew this stuff, wouldn’t we no longer need to do it? The whole women’s magazine industry continues to thrive just because we still haven’t figured you boys out.

We’ve done at least one thing we really would rather you not know about.
It could be an infidelity, a past personal problem, or a family secret. Whatever the skeleton, the closet is under lock and key. I’d tell you more, but then I’d have to kill you.

Src - Netscape

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Think you know what it takes to be her best ever? Not so fast. Unless you’re privy to these private thoughts, you’re still second best. Ready for the real deal on how to do her right?

Focus Pocus
It’s hard to rock her whole world if you’re only visiting a few erogenous zip codes. Kiss the back of her neck, stroke the curve of her waist. Wherever you roam, she just wants your attention on all of her, not just that spot or two you love so much. Southern Rock
She not only loves it when you give her a little oral attention, she really wants to do, well, a good job on you, too. She wants a little gentle direction and plenty of positive feedback - what feels best, why you like it, and when we push all the right buttons.

Passion Aggression
Contrary to what you might think, that girl of yours is tired of “making love” and being treated like a princess in bed. She wants to be ravished. She wants her clothes ripped off. Maybe in the ladies room of that fancy restaurant you’re having dinner at.

Chatty Charlie
No, we’re not talking sweet nothings here. She wants talk naughty enough to make a sailor blush. Talking more openly about what you - and she - love and loathe in bed will get all her secret desires out.

Solve the Puzzle
Here’s a shocker: women are different. Your ex might have swooned when you dipped your tongue in her ear, but your current chica might karate-chop you when you try. She doesn’t expect you to know just what makes her tick, but she does want you to try to figure it out.

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Wouldn’t it be nice to have a gorgeous and down to earth girlfriend who you’d like to take home to mom and dad. Now you can have your cake and eat it too… if you’re lucky enough to find yourself with one of these 10 hotties (or even one who fits into their league.)

• Kelly Brook
  
• Ashton Leigh
  
• Colleen Chambers
  
• Crissy M
  
• Eve Ellis
  

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Chicks are into fast and pimped out cars, right? Or do they just like the attention that they get driving around in head turning rides? Either way, it has helped geeky guys who drive nice cars get laid for decades. This brings me to another phenomon I’d like to refer to as ‘car show chicks’. These car loving groupies travel around with the car shows (for example NOPI and Hot Import Nights.) My question, again, is whether they just like the attention or are actually into the cars. Either way, I enjoy their presence and find it hard to see past them - what car show? i thought it was a model shoot..

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Many guys will be forced, at some point, to part with their beloved game console by supreme order of their bitchin’ counter-part. This can be avoided by using some proven tactics to gradually introduce video gaming into your relationship. You may not get her into Resident Evil, but she may end up playing some games you both can enjoy.

6 Steps

1. Find out if your girlfriend has ever played video games before. She may not be a full-blown gamer, but maybe she played Mario games when she was younger. Or maybe she likes playing an Internet game from time to time. If you know her gaming history, you’ll have a better chance of finding a game she’ll enjoy now.
2. Remind your girlfriend that if you both play video games, you’ll be able to spend even more quality time together.
3. Pick out a game she might like. If you’re not 100% sure she’ll enjoy it, you can rent it.
   • Try to choose a game or game system that isn’t too confusing, and doesn’t require short reaction time. Many non-gamers are intimidated by button combinations. If you’ve ever gotten frustrated to the point of throwing the controller in a game, don’t start with that one.
   • If you can, get a game that is multi-player or, optimally, co-op.
   • Consider your girlfriend’s personality when picking out a game. Some girls may prefer the brightly colored, all-ages games like Katamari Damacy, Bust A Move, Lego Star Wars, Sims, or just about any Mario game. But remember that your girlfriend is an individual who could just as well go for Halo, Resident Evil, or Grand Theft Auto. In general, girls go more for games that involve good characterization and dramatic plotlines; even a modicum of these factors can make a game a lot more appealing for a girl. For instance, many girls won’t be interested in Soul Calibur 2 … but if you let a girl make a custom character in Soul Calibur 3 (maybe encouraging her to make up a story or background for that character), you might be surprised by her sudden surge of enthusiasm for learning that character’s moves.
   • Don’t get games that involve things like strippers, prostitutes, and sex. Unless she has a sense of humor about such things, she probably won’t like it.
4. Have fun when you play with her. If you make it a good time she will enjoy it, even if she’s not that “into games.” Crack jokes, make her laugh, and focus primarily on spending time with her, not on winning the game at hand. Be prepared to help her out. Even if she’s only playing “easy” games, your girlfriend may get stuck and frustrated. As a gamer, you know one of the most frustrating things about video games is getting stuck. Helping her will not only avoid her getting frustrated and fed up with video games, but it will foster a sense of “playing together” and help her see what a great guy you are.
5. Be understanding and supportive. When she first starts out, tell her that it’s easy, and that she will catch on. Make her feel like this is something that she can do. Let her win. Try not to show any signs of being annoyed that she can’t pass the 1st water zone for the 76th time in a row. As she keeps playing, she will get better and may enjoy the game itself.
6. Next time you and your girlfriend are in a game shop, casually walk by the video game section and ask her if there is anything that catches her eye. She will probably say no at first without looking at any game, but coax her into it.

Helpful warnings

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Bridget Moynahan’s first jump into fame was with her role as Mr. Big’s fiance Natasha on the popular show Sex and the City during the late 90’s. After getting her name out with the show, Bridget went on to take roles in a nice selection of movies, from our favorite bar tending hotties flick Coyote Ugly to the chick flick Serendipity. Of course, there were other box office killers like The Sum of All Fears, The Recruit, and I-Robot. Bridget has done pretty damn well for herself (getting rid of Tom Brady was among the good things she’s done.) Funny enough, he moved on to Gisele Bundchen (victorias secret babe) right after Bridget. Tom’s obviously doing something very right. Shit, there’s an idea, an interview with Tom Brady about his dating techniques.

Pictures of Bridget Moynahan (sadly, nothing too revealing.)

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Beth Ostrosky; a gorgeous hard working model who’s been involved with the notorius NYC radio asshole Howard Stern since 2002. The paparazzi pounced on her during the beginning of their relationship but the pressure has eased off over the past 5 years. She was noticeably unhappy about all the media attention and gossip. Slowly, Beth has built up her own reputation and respectable media coverage instead of the negative coverage that she started with. Beth Ostrasky stays busy, not only as a model, but also as a television personality, columnist and spokesperson for the North Shore Animal League.

To date; Beth has appeared on the cover of FHM magazine twice (side note..FHM’s mag is ending soon.) The sexy blonde has also jumped into the co-host spot of Spike TV’s Casino Cinema (with Steve Schirripa from the Sopranos.) On top of her already busy schedule, Beth has found the time to put her 3rd amazing swimsuit calendar into print. And if that isn’t enough for one chick, the gorgeous model responds to FHM readers in the “Ask Beth and Isaac” column each and every month.

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There’s been several rumors going around that the “black amex card” doesn’t truly exist. The actual rumors have been going on for decades (since the 80’s.) The truth is - the card does in fact exist. Amex saw opportunity and took the “black card” idea and ran with it during October, 1999. I did a little digging for the actual facts on this notorius credit card and here’s what I found:

requirements

Despite its status as the world’s most elite credit card, Centurion’s requirements are basic enough. To qualify you must have:

• A one-year tenure and $250,000 annual cash flow on any American Express card
• A U.S. billing address
• An exceptional credit history

The annual fee is $2,500, and although the card is generally by invitation only, any Amex cardholder who believes he qualifies can request that his account be reviewed for eligibility.

benefits

The following are only a fraction of the diverse and extraordinary benefits the Centurion cardholder enjoys.

Personal

In a stern rebuke of touch-tone voice recordings, Amex assigns a personal concierge with an e-mail address and a direct phone number to each cardholder. Tales of concierges doing backflips to hook up impossible dinner reservations and nonexistent show tickets flood internet forums.If the Centurion cardholder is enrolled in the Credit Card Registry program and loses his wallet, Amex will arrange for all of his credit cards to be invalidated and for new cards to be issued in their place — with a single phone call.Finally, in the Emergency Assistance Program, if a member is more than 100 miles from home, Amex gives medical, legal and financial assistance 24/7. It will replace lost passports or misplaced prescriptions, arrange for an air ambulance from anywhere on the planet, monitor medical treatment, and cover inoculations. 

Retail

The Centurion cardholder enjoys private access to a number of high-end retailers — including Bergdorf, Bulgari, Gucci, Harvey Nichols, Neiman Marcus, and Saks Fifth Avenue — where he can request the assistance of a personal shopper. If he happens to lose or damage an item or two, purchases on the card are protected against such tragedies up to $50,000 a year. If that weren’t enough, the Buyers Assurance Plan extends the terms of the original manufacturer’s warranty by three years, regardless of warranty length. This perk lends itself to the possibility that, on a lifetime warranty, a cardholder may enjoy coverage through his first three years in the afterlife. They say those are the hardest.

Hotels

The Centurion cardholder’s memberships in FHR (Fine Hotels and Resorts) and SLH (Small Luxury Hotels) give him access to 530 hotels worldwide and entitle him to free room upgrades, late check-out, a domestic staff eager to satisfy his every excess, and a complimentary continental breakfast for two.

If the cardholder books two nights at any participating Mandarin Oriental hotel (excluding the NYC property), he enjoys the second night free. The benefits are similar to the FHR program, except that the domestic staff is reduced to a butler’s help in the packing and unpacking process.

Travel

Arguably, it’s in this area that Centurion earns its keep. In addition to membership in Hertz #1 Gold Club and Avis President’s Club, some of the many benefits include:

• A personal travel consultant

• First class flight upgrades (when available)

• Membership in the International Airlines Program, allowing one complimentary ticket on transatlantic flights with the purchase of one first class or business ticket

• Access to 450 airport lounges in 80 countries via Priority Pass (Amex waives the $399 fee)

• Membership in the Private Jet Services Program, wherein the cardholder can either buy flight time on a private jet or assume fractional jet ownership with a half-dozen elite private jet carriers

• Up to $700 stateroom shipboard credit on selected cruises

• Membership in Space Adventures, a space tourism company, including privileged invitations to various space-related events. Additionally, the cardholder receives an annual credit toward the payment of a suborbital flight reservation. Yes, you read that right.

Travel insurance

Benefits include:

• Flight: As much as $3.5 million for death and dismemberment

• Baggage: Carry-ons up to $2000, checked baggage up to $1000

• Travel Delay Protection: If a cardholder’s flight is delayed beyond certain specified times, Amex allows him $250 for hotels, cabs and other expenses

• Delayed Checked Bag Program: If a member makes it to his destination but his bag is delayed for more than three hours, Amex allows him up to $500 for whatever he needs. Please double-check before ordering the in-room porno.

Other

Finally, the Centurion cardholder benefits from membership in the Premium Vital Component Program, which offers complimentary transplants on all major organs. Just kidding.

once you go black…

The notion of unlimited spending alone puts the Centurion at the apex of the credit card industry. It’s difficult to envision how competitors might top it. Miraculous healing abilities, lifetime transactional immunity, Human Soul purchasing power?

Nonetheless, internet forums and message boards reveal the birth of a new urban legend among Centurion cardholders, one born less of enigmatic fascination and more of insecurity. The legend alleges the shadowy existence of the secretive, ultra-ultra-exclusive “Crystal” card, which is said to be mightier and more discriminating than the Centurion.  

American Express refutes this. Phew.

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It’s been quite some time since I’ve seen anything sexy from Carmen Electra, but to my surprise, she performed at a concert at the Dinah Shore Festival last week. In case you didn’t know, she used to be a dancer before she became an actress. Her dance performance confirmed her class A sex symbol status for all of us guys - the audience (both men and woman) was in awe as she bounced her ass and rolled her hips around stage. The tiny lingerie outfits and corset she had just added onto the teasing performance. 

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